Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I need to stop coming to work sober
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
