i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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