I accidentally had phone sex last night
Don't make out with my wife yet
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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