drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
