there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
