When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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