THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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