do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
