Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
