lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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