I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I need water and some morals
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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