I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
