I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
