I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
