Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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