Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
