i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
