Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
