Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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