I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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