i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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