Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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