New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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