He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
