if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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