Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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