take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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