Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
