I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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