Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
