Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
