Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
