Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
