you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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