the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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