"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize