i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
