what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize