I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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