Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
