I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
