wat bout pragnant strippers??
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
