I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
