I hate all girls vehemently.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
