You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
