What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
