They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
