I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's official drugs can't kill me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
