does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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