dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
