i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
