I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
