I must be too annoying 4 u.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
