what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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