cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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