I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
