You really coming over, don't trick.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize