I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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