it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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