Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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