a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
