Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
